I didn't shave. On purpose
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
