I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
