Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
