I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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