You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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