I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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