Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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