He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
