You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
