She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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