The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
