I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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