Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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