She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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