Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
