I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
