I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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