He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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