A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
How's work?
Spinning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
