I cockslap morals
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Found the puke drawer
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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