Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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