This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
