This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
