Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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