I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
