It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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