Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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