This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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