i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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