I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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