ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
