So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is wine microwaveable?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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