Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.