i permit you to call me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
