Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

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  (248): yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss http://tfl.nu/k4jz
  Replies (4) Good night (926) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?

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  (713): So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue? http://tfl.nu/mqzj
  Replies (10) Good night (1366) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN

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  (909): WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN http://tfl.nu/7vj7
  Replies (185) Good night (4223) Bad night (18752) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too

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  (614): Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too http://tfl.nu/p8r6
  Replies (24) Good night (587) Bad night (1906) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"

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  (515): I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that" http://tfl.nu/9edj
  Replies (15) Good night (6005) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

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  (601): Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her? http://tfl.nu/n019
  Replies (15) Good night (7586) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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  (201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek
  Replies (20) Good night (3016) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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  (202): Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful. http://tfl.nu/bz9e
  Replies (7) Good night (3084) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.

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  (715): haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate. http://tfl.nu/9gey
  Replies (1) Good night (1594) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.

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  (914): I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned. http://tfl.nu/4ebq
  Replies (6) Good night (598) Bad night (1812) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...

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  (540): He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward... http://tfl.nu/zj5d
  Replies (17) Good night (518) Bad night (1252) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Aw.

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  (617): Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat. (1-617): Aw. http://tfl.nu/wvoj
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (622)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?

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  (630): How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club? http://tfl.nu/moii
  Replies (4) Good night (920) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.

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  (952): I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous. http://tfl.nu/ct4x
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.

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  (401): i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher. http://tfl.nu/v6bw
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (169)

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