Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.

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  (712): I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good. http://tfl.nu/eno8
  Replies (4) Good night (4719) Bad night (509)
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  (626): View more from California

  that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

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  (626): that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/stra
  Replies (21) Good night (743) Bad night (5095)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking

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  (864): i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q6i0
  Replies (17) Good night (4018) Bad night (1754)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.

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  (310): Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/vvmp
  Replies (21) Good night (6023) Bad night (1468)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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  (630): hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister? http://tfl.nu/p7gf
  Replies (15) Good night (5225) Bad night (1657)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.

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  (404): So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B. http://tfl.nu/ianl
  Replies (28) Good night (1225) Bad night (5974)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.

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  (404): my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles. http://tfl.nu/wcsn
  Replies (9) Good night (3475) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My vagina just recognized that song.

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  (973): My vagina just recognized that song. http://tfl.nu/3ui0
  Replies (7) Good night (3132) Bad night (811)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice

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  (920): its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice http://tfl.nu/sbu6
  Replies (16) Good night (4647) Bad night (1362)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter

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  (616): they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter http://tfl.nu/a4jz
  Replies (30) Good night (5362) Bad night (1406)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?

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  (804): No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail? http://tfl.nu/kg64
  Replies (5) Good night (1285) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out

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  (412): Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out http://tfl.nu/mlh0
  Replies (6) Good night (434) Bad night (781)
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  (212): View more from New York

  TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."

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  (212): TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man." http://tfl.nu/a530
  Replies (1) Good night (805) Bad night (200)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".

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  (386): When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me". http://tfl.nu/x44y
  Replies (0) Good night (622) Bad night (179)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my entire left arm went numb

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms

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  (615): my entire left arm went numb (1-615): you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms http://tfl.nu/7l90
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (243)

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