I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.