Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.

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  (574): god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut. http://tfl.nu/n8g7
  Replies (34) Good night (1034) Bad night (3847)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE

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  (904): He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE http://tfl.nu/khu1
  Replies (20) Good night (1150) Bad night (3614)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE

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  (401): Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE http://tfl.nu/8fti
  Replies (4) Good night (3534) Bad night (944)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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  (469): The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig. http://tfl.nu/4p0a
  Replies (9) Good night (4431) Bad night (1293)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.

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  (660): I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym. http://tfl.nu/tj7a
  Replies (7) Good night (3629) Bad night (945)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend

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  (850): i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend http://tfl.nu/u4us
  Replies (48) Good night (4240) Bad night (2969)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?

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  (215): I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint? http://tfl.nu/8n36
  Replies (11) Good night (4490) Bad night (1070)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.

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  (801): He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me. http://tfl.nu/9uhs
  Replies (33) Good night (6170) Bad night (1774)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.

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  (914): Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again. http://tfl.nu/50dk
  Replies (5) Good night (1444) Bad night (771)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.

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  (202): I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure. http://tfl.nu/68x5
  Replies (3) Good night (1566) Bad night (678)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something

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  (567): He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something http://tfl.nu/zff9
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (604)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.

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  (407): I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up. http://tfl.nu/xd0y
  Replies (5) Good night (1807) Bad night (453)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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  (724): If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF! http://tfl.nu/xzr6
  Replies (14) Good night (1576) Bad night (879)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.

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  (703): You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/3xuk
  Replies (0) Good night (837) Bad night (304)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it

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  (978): there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit (978): no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it http://tfl.nu/4glv
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (510)

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