Girls should come with a carfax report
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
