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yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
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