put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she peed on how many people?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
