Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
