Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
