I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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