If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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