i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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