Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
