3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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