everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
