I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
