i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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