I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
