my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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