Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.