i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend