THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...