I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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