wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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