That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
