Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
