If i come over, it means nothing
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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