Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
