is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
