Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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