So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
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OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
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he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.