It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
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I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point