FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
