physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize