Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
