Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life