I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.