Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

(303): View more from Colorado

Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

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(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. http://tfl.nu/w6wy

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(214): View more from Texas

apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

(817): View more from Texas

told ya

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(214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea

Replies (13) Good night (2536) Bad night (603)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME

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(724): As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME http://tfl.nu/k5kv

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(516): View more from New York

Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?

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(516): Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me? http://tfl.nu/2ksh

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(716): View more from New York

I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.

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(716): I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth. http://tfl.nu/f5s8

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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(901): Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore. http://tfl.nu/ntw9

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(203): View more from Connecticut

we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint

(203): View more from Connecticut

i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you

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(203): we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint (203): i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you http://tfl.nu/509n

Replies (10) Good night (5125) Bad night (997)
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(432): View more from Texas

He looks like he has a penis

(210): View more from Texas

What the fuck

(432): View more from Texas

A good one, a good penis

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(432): He looks like he has a penis (210): What the fuck (432): A good one, a good penis http://tfl.nu/0vhk

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(314): View more from Missouri

I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment

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(314): I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment http://tfl.nu/5u6p

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(619): View more from California

We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"

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(619): We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober" http://tfl.nu/gqaj

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(773): View more from Illinois

he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.

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(773): he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer. http://tfl.nu/dnae

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car

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(617): we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car http://tfl.nu/ipv6

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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(920): So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate http://tfl.nu/3qfe

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(248): View more from Michigan

She's the worst person, but the best naked person

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(248): She's the worst person, but the best naked person http://tfl.nu/e5d7

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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(931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0

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