I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
