my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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