I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
