Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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