ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
