i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
