When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
