Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
