Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
im on a boat
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