last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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